Brian Freedman (Philadelphia, USA): "Hot Date Miscellany"

Dating, among the middle-school set, was a complicated affair. It revolved more around telephone conversations than anything else. Making out was a good several years in the future, unless you happened to find yourself at one of those absent-parent parties. But once in a while, a date would be planned, and that’s when things got interesting. As for Allie and I, our first and only date proved to be a collision of worlds— the real one, with me as its ostensible center, and the fantasy one, whose five suns around which everything revolved, were the perfect and unattainable Donny and Danny and Joey and Jonathan and Jordan.

The New Kids On The Block were scheduled to perform a three-night series of concerts at an outdoor arena in the city, and though all the tens of thousands of tickets had sold out within twenty minutes of their release a few months before, Allie’s mother had somehow managed to procure three of them for the third concert. This was no surprise, since standard operating procedure was that one parent would accompany the happy couple on any date that involved an activity more demanding or complicated (or even, in suburban terms, more dangerous) than going to the movies and Friendly’s for a scoop or three of ice cream.

But that, as I found out less than a week before the concert, was never the plan. Allie and I were on the phone one warm spring evening. Or, as I should say, Allie was listening and I was showing off while talking to her behind the door of my closed bedroom, the thin crack of space dividing the bottom of the door and the top of the high-piled blueberry-colored carpet, covered by three pillows to prevent the sound from escaping, and the family from knowing I was on the line yet again with my girlfriend. The last thing I needed was another one of my father’s famous mock-up conversations, on the old banana-phone he so loved.

Anyway, we were talking about the latest six-grade gossip— the fact that Candice Cooper might just like girls that way. I knew she didn’t. I’d started the rumor myself, after she began spreading the word a few months earlier, after our one slow-song at the six-grade dance, that I breathed heavily when I danced, and that she felt something weird against her leg as we rocked back and forth, to Poison’s “Every Rose Has Its Thorn”—

© Brian Freedman 2004